I had an ex-employee blackmail me today.

Me:  “Ok, so here’s your payment for all the hours you worked.”

Employee: (takes money) “You aren’t going to give me anymore?”

Me: “What do you mean?  I paid you for everything, unless there’s something wrong with the time card…”

Employee: “Well, I know that you’re doing a lot of illegal stuff here so you might want to give me more money.”

Me: “That’s fine, I’ll wait to hear from your lawyer then.”